Developmental Trauma Therapy
Many of us had to endure harmful dynamics in our childhood. And, if we didn’t have access to a warm and supportive adult helping us navigate pain, imperfections, and harm, our survival mode supported us through. Our nervous system creatively formed relational and emotional patterns that made it possible to navigate these dynamics and keep us alive. As an adult, this still comes online to ask “am I safe?” / “am I okay to be me?” when we are faced with similar dynamics.
Even though these old patterns may not be helping us anymore, they need to be understood and appreciated for what they once did for us…so that they feel allowed to come alive within us…so that we can connect with our past…and grab our scathed and young hand to lead us somewhere different (like, helping ourselves and our loved ones feel safe as we stay committed to including each other’s experiences, preferences, and needs in the relationship).
Our nervous system rewires when we move away from re-traumatizing ourselves with the same harmful dynamics from our past. We need to be the validating, reassuring, and action-oriented adult we always needed in painful moments of imperfection.
This process is beautifully displayed in the song Stitch in Time by Bear's Den (off their mental health concept-album Blue Hours):
"I don't know where I start or where it is that you end...where do I begin? I always thought I was to blame for the violence in your eyes and the sorrow in your smile. Sometimes I feel the thread between our lives slowly start unravelling. A tapestry woven too tight that I could start untangling."
"I could just reach my hand through time. I would hold your hand so tight. There's no damn way that was ever okay. No, there's no way at all, that that was your fault. But, it's killing us both tonight. I thread the needle of a stitch in time."
In 2024, I established my own private practice in City Park West - Denver and called it Stitch in Time.
Naming my practice this probably makes it pretty obvious that my passion and expertise are working with Complex PTSD, Complex Trauma, and Developmental Trauma.